Why One, and Not the Other?
I saw the text from my daughter: Charlie Kirk was Shot.
I grimaced. Who would do that? I began to pray for him, knowing millions around the world would be joining in prayer for Charlie.
I fully expected him to be ok.
I expected another “Fight fight fight” moment. I expected videos to show Charlie Kirk rising miraculously and laughing in the face of death.
People are praying. I know what prayer does! And Charlie will live.
Except at 4:49 pm, in the middle of our Bible Study, another text from my daughter flashed across my smartphone: He just died.
The air left the room. It left my brain. It drained from my heart.
This cannot be right!
But it was. I immediately felt as though a giant meteor had crashed into the earth, leaving a gaping hole in our land. A hole that could never be refilled. A hole where we would stand at the edge and “tsk tsk” over what might have been, what could have been, had Charlie lived.
Why didn’t he turn his head at just the right second as another did?
Why did another get to walk off stage while Charlie's blood spilt on the platform, leaving a widow with two children in its wake?
But then, I realized, I would also have to ask why Paul got to walk away from a stoning and Stephen did not.
Or, why Jesus walked through a crowd that threatened to throw Him off a cliff one time and then He was crucified another time.
I have to return to this rudimentary truth of the Bible: God always does the right thing.
Not the thing we think is right.
Not the thing we want Him to do,
But the thing that allows for free will, justice, our sin nature, and all things working together for good to them that love God.
God has a view from heaven I do not have.
He sees what I cannot see, knows what I cannot know, and loves deeper, cares harder, than I.
Do I believe this?
Do you?
If so, while on this side of eternity we cannot understand all the answers.
One of my daughters reflected on the moment she heard Charlie was shot. She said she pictured him standing in spiritual places with the Lord, able to choose between staying or, when he saw how God could use His death, choosing to move through heaven’s gates.
My first reaction was “No. He would choose to live, to be with his wife, to affect the young people.”
But now, I see the surge of positive responses from Charlies death:
People returning to church, and more importantly, returning to God.
People watching full clips of his discussions, not just edited clips
People asking for TPUSA chapters to start in their High schools and Colleges
A new resolve to speak the truth in love and with courage.
I have to re-think my initial response.
I also have a fresh resolve rising within me. Why am I fearful of inviting people to Bible studies? Why do I hold back the words of truth or let divisive comments go unchallenged on my social media platform? No more.
Charlie’s life was cut short.
I could also die tomorrow. What am I hiding from? Or, as another substacker wrote: “Why am I wearing the camouflage of comfort?”
This life belongs to God. It’s not mine to keep. One day, it will be over, no matter how much I fight against that moment. Whether I am allowed to walk through an angry mob or whether I get crucified, it is still God’s.
God is good. God knows what is best.
He will always do the right thing.
Lord… I trust you. I believe your words. As we travel through these days of grief, may your Word be the lamp unto our weary feet. Revive us again with the spring rains of revival. May we have confidence in You. We believe we will laugh again, that we will behold Your face, and that our joy will be made full!
Amen
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What a great piece! There are some things we just don't understand why they have to happen. Just like Charlie's death. I got myself wondering if he knew the night before that he was going to leave this world in a few hours time. Perhaps he would have not gone out that day. He might have stayed home. But I remembered that Jesus assured us that whoever saves their lives will lose it but whoever loses their lives will save it with Him. While that verse may not really be about physical death like in Charlie's case, but he died a long time ago to his personal preferences and comfort. That was why he didn't count his life precious enough to stay back in his comfortable home, even if he knew something might happen the next morning. When the Lord returns and we all unite with our loved ones who has gone ahead of us, we will be able for sure to know whether he knew he was going to be with the Lord that morning. Charlie made up his mind the same way apostle Paul did when he said that for him to live is Christ and to die is gain. It's just that as humans we think about how his two girls and his wife would greatly miss him. I was bereaved just 8 years into my marriage with 3 small children to take care of, and the oldest was only 6 years at the time while the youngest a year and 3 months. There were so many questions on my mind but God gave me a verse from the book of Isaiah 41:10. That has been a source of strength all through the years. On the 29th of October, it will be 20 years I became a widow. God strengthened me and I have so many reasons now to say that no matter what happens as we walk with the Lord, let's make the most of every day and live as if the next minute we may not be here. Just like Charlie did. At the end of our life here, it's those decisions and choices that we made to live fully for the Lord per time that we'll have. May God help us to treasure every single minute to glorify Him with our lives.
I love this Joni. It reminds me that in our humanness, we can’t always understand how Romans 8:28 is true in every circumstance. But we get glimpses. And you provided it. Thank you.